How do I know if I have Sanctifying Grace?
Sanctifying Grace is Received in Baptism, lost through mortal sin, and regained with a good confession. A thorough examination of conscience like this one is helpful. A sin committed involving grave matter is only mortal if full knowledge and consent are present.
As stated in the Council of Trent, a person can have a "high degree of moral certainty" of being in a state of grace.
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How to Lead a Group
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A group can be run by members within the group notifying each within the group when a serious sin has been committed. This option works well if those within the group know each other well enough to be vulnerable with each other. If a person can share their sins to those in a group it becomes more likely he/she can share their sins with a priest. Accountability groups can use code words for "falling" if they like. This can be a fun way to make less awkward the fact that an embarrassing sin has been committed.
A second way a group can be run is by a leader taking the initiative to check in with those within the group on a periodical basis. A group leader could ask on a monthly or semi monthly basis if those within the group have been to confession if having "fallen" into serious sin.
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Part of the goal of accountability groups is to avoid sin in the first place but ultimately it is for its members to seek sacramental absolution in a timely manner if a serious sin is committed.